There was once a person, a friend of mine, a boy. Its ur birthday today, your turning 21. We haven’t spoken in weeks. I think about u all the time, and I know u think about me too. We used to basically live together, when I stayed at your house we used to squeeze on your little tiny matrice and I always ended up on the floor by the morning. We used to have showers together, choke each other with hugs whenever we saw each other. I loved you… but ever since we went on that trip to Thailand our friendship was never the same. After spending every single second with you non stop for 3 weeks I got to know who you truly were, I got to see all your true colors.

I knew you for a long time but our friendship beginnings in year 8, you were in my class. I actually remember the first thing I ever said to you, we were given an assignment in Mr johns class, it was to draw a story about where we want to be in 10 years and how we would get there “or something like that” at the time i didn’t know you were the most amazing drawer so I said to your face “give me the pencil” and you replied with “why do you get to draw”, and then I replied with full confidence “you do realize I’m dyslexic, which means I’m really, really creative and good at drawing” “better than you”. He used to always brings that little story up. We used to piss our selves laughing about it. 

I miss those days, I really do, but I think we became too close, I think we became addicted to each other actually. We physically couldn’t go one day without seeing each other or else we would go made, I would become depressed and feel so alone. I used to non stop thing about you. When I wasn’t around you I used to get agitated and fidgety, but when I was with you I was calm and wholesome. 

I used to have a lot of friends, I was the type of person who was friends with everybody. When I walked through the halls of the school I used to stop every second person and talk to them. I used to actually get invited to things, and “actually” enjoy them”. But ever since we became close I began to lose all of that. I put all my work and energy into you. You began to become a chaw…” you know what I mean, for example, it’s like a job that u HATE but u still get up everyone moring to do, because you have you, because that what u have to do, to get through the day.” 

Anyway, Back to this trip to Thailand, we had been planning it for months and months, I remember counting down from 92 days prior. We planned to go see your family because u hadn’t seen them in quite a long time. Your dad promised us so many amazing things that we would do once we arrived. He promised us road trips, adventures, boat trips to islands, fishing, me and you were going to get matching tattoos, we were going to go to water world… but not a single of these things happened. It was paradise but you made it hell.   

And now your not hear anymore, it was 2 years ago now when it all started. When you started to lose your mind. At first, I put the blame on myself. because I left you, because of i…. because I ignored you, because I pretended you weren’t there. But now I look back juts to all the little things that you used to say, say to me. I remember once we were laying on the grass, looking up at the pure blue sky soaking in the essence of the suns rays, you looked into my green eyes and said: “there would be no point in living if you weren’t here”. I remember that very moment, your word hit like a storm. They scared me because I knew that nothing lasts forever.

Your probably gonna think I’m crazy but ever since he … died….. he comes and visits me… when I’m asleep it’s like his soal creeps into my mind every single night…. crazy laugh …. we become lost in a dream, exactly how it used to be before….. before we became addicted to each other. It never gets old or boring. Every single night we are in a different place, on a different adventure. Just the other night we were running through the streets Rome eating everyone’s food, they were getting so pissed off at us….There is one really weird thing that seems to happen though…. if I ever.. ya know trip over or something, when I wake up in the morning both of my knees are grazed, or if I ever eat loads in my dreams with him I wake up full, my stomach is bloated, and I have crumbs all over my face…. from the exact same thing I was eating. I think he’s visiting me in my dreams…. actually I know for a fact that he is. He knows that I miss him, and I know that he misses me too. LOOK UP TO GOD